Tips for Recovering from a Divorce
Divorce can be devastating. Not only might you miss your former partner and the life you had, but you may also feel anger, resentment, guilt or confusion. You may have even lost hope that you can have a happy future.
Recovering from a divorce takes time—sometimes years. You won’t get over all the pain right away, but step by step, day by day, you will start to recover if you follow these steps:
1. Don’t Place Blame
It’s not helpful to try to pinpoint who is at fault. Most often, there are many factors that lead to a divorce. Don’t blame your former partner and view them as an enemy; remember that they are suffering, too. It’s normal to feel regret for mistakes you may have made, but believe that you can still be a good person who is worthy of love.
2. Let Yourself Grieve
Pushing away uncomfortable emotions will only make the process more difficult. Grief, depression and anger are part of the healing process and they won’t last forever. Let yourself feel these emotions for a time, believing that you can recreate a positive relationship in the future.
3. Talk to Someone Who Will Listen
Turn to a trusted family member, friend or counsellor to talk through your emotions. Don’t talk to someone who doesn’t listen or constantly tries to offer solutions.
4. Forgive Yourself and Your Former Partner
Forgiveness might not be your first inclination, but learning to let go of negative feelings toward your significant other is important in finding health and healing. It’s especially important if you have children who are affected by the rift in your relationship. It may take time, but learn to see things from their perspective. Make amends for your mistakes then forgive yourself so you can move on.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Divorce can harm not only your emotional health, but your physical health as well. Make sure you eat healthy foods, exercise and take part in hobbies and activities you enjoy. As much as you can, get out and socialize and enjoy life. Don’t turn to addictive substances to get over your grief.
6. Cultivate a Congenial, Distant Relationship with Your Former Spouse
Keep your distance from your spouse for a time to work out your feelings. When you’re ready (it usually takes about 3 to 6 months), you may want to rekindle a friendship with your former spouse. This is especially important if you have children and must still interact frequently to work out childcare details. However, you don’t have the same relationship with your former spouse that you once had, so keep them at an emotional distance.
7. Analyze, but Don’t Overanalyze
It’s okay to reflect on how you handled the relationship and what you could do better in the future. But, you may be tempted to replay things in your mind over and over and continuously ask yourself, “what if?” It’s much healthier to face the reality of your situation and move on.
8. Resolve to Move Forward
Once you’ve had time to get over the initial grieving process, resolve to move forward and create a productive, happy life. Work on becoming a better person so when a new relationship presents itself, you’re ready to make it work.
We know when you go through a divorce, you’re dealing with more than you can handle. Turn to the experienced lawyers at Donnell Law Group to handle all the legal aspects of your divorce, so you have one less thing you need to worry about. Call us for a consultation at 1-888-307-9991.